One day, Oprah Winfrey was walking down the street when Billy Mays decided he wanted to sell her some Lady Gaga. Since Oprah was on a diet, she decided to pass, and instead, asked for some Miley Cyrus.
Unfortunately, Billy Mays had just sold his last case of Miley Cyrus to Mark Walberg and his third nipple. So, as a last result for Dearest Oprah, she went with some Rebecca Black.
As Oprah was strolling along the highway in fishnets and a fishing vest, she spotted a Starbucks and decided to purchase a frappaccino. As she walked inside she noticed Poseidon throwing a tizzy-fit because Michael Jackson had bought the last frappaccino.
Oprah, her spirits lowered, walked slowly back to her cardboard box that smelled of hobo urine and entered a deep sleep. She dreamt of many things, like pineapples, and Sponge bob, and her best friend Miranda Cosgrove, but there was one dream that Oprah remembered most vibrantly; HOW THE WORLD ENDED.
It started out at Justin Bieber’s concert; she was going home with Rosa Parks and Abraham Lincoln when Rosa saw a shooting star.
“My, it’s Friday, FRIDAY, Oprah, you got to get down on Friday! Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend! PARTYING, PARTYING YEAH! PARTYING, PARTYING YES! Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend!”
Oprah decked Rosa and they laughed, until Abraham Lincoln’s beard caught on fire, and that was when Oprah knew that her dream would come true.
While Oprah and Rosa were worrying about Abraham’s beard, Justin Bieber was hit by a meteor shaped like Dr. Phil’s balding head. After this odd occurrence, teens and girls allover the world started committing mass suicide, which caused their parents to take part, too. Since Oprah isn’t necessarily a trend setter, she decided to follow the trend and kill herself by overdosing on KFC. This left the last people alive on the earth, Abraham Lincoln, Rosa Parks, all the people who despise Justin Bieber, and Charlie Sheen.
Then, Rosa Parks developed a serious case of lice that survived Lincoln’s on fire beard, and ended up eating her alive, then Lincoln committed suicide, and then a flying saucer crashed into all the people who hated Justin Bieber and it just so happened to be that the Dinosaurs were having a bachelor party for Barney and got off course and landed millions and billions of years in the future, of course they were starving, so they made a 3 course meal out of Charlie Sheen and fed it to their babies. Oh yeah, and all the technology disintegrated and the whole world started over again, but that was after it ended for a few minutes…
HAPPY FOUR TWENTY-ONE!
THE END. . .
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
AMONG THE BETRAYED BOOK REPORT.
ALTERNATE ENDING.
Nina Idi ran back through the forest. Saving Alia, Percy and Matthias was all she cared about. The Population Police had already found her, but she could still keep them from finding the three children she had risked everything to save.
"Percy! Matthias! Alia! Run!" At this point, the population police were closing all around Nina, flashlights shining all over the place. She felt a strong grip on her shoulder, then the other one. Nina struggled to free herself but the grip only tightened more. She kicked and screamed and cried until she saw him.
The hating man walked out in front of Nina and crouched down, eye level with her. "Fancy seeing you here, Nina Idi. I see you've found Percy and Matthias, but where is your dear little Alia? Oh yeah,while you were out being careless, she found her way back to us and reported a third child, you."
Nina looked behind her, sure enough, Percy and Matthias were holding on to Nina's frail arms, after she had helped them escape.
"Don't be surprised, Nina, we suspected you were a third child the whole time, it was just a matter of getting it out of you is all." He grinned a certain way that made Nina want to punch him right in the face.
"They're third children, too! They told me! You have the wrong person!" Nina tried to wiggle away from their firm grip but it seemed that they had grown stronger than she though while she was gone.
"Oh, Nina, even if we had suspected you weren't a third child, you would have never been smart enough to work for the population police. It just turned out that Matthias, Percy and Alia were all better actors than you thought. It's a shame, really, a six year old being a better actor than a thirteen year old who has been pretending to be a normal, first child all her life." He patted her head, then motioned behind him for someone. Two burly men appeared holding rifles and started to bind Nina's hands together. Percy and Matthias did nothing to help her. They just watched her being tied without expression.
After Nina's hands were bound so tightly they turned a dark shade of violet, Percy and Matthias jerked her off the ground like she had committed a crime against them and walked her to the back of a white van. They threw her in like a sack of spuds and she was driven back to the place she had so desperately tried to save Percy, Matthias and Alia from.
Nina was pushed on the ground, then kicked repeatedly for not getting up quick enough. She was dragged to what she thought was a cellar and left in the room for a few hours until the hating man came back. It was the beginning of her capture all over again.
"So, Nina, do you have any pathetic excuses to try and save yourself with this time? 'Oh, it wasn't my idea to run away! It was theirs!' that's how it went down, right?" He chuckled to himself and leaned back in a chair, seeming to have all the time in the world.
"You are wrong to do this." Nina was huddled in the corner, not even looking in the man's direction.
"To do what? Kill you for lying to the police? No, I am not, it's part of my job. You don't make the rules. My boss does."
"For killing third children."
The man paused and thought about it. "It's a law, those who choose not to follow it have decided their fate for themselves. Not my problem."
Nina was done talking. She allowed the hating man to strap her in a chair and fill a syringe with a substance she did not know. At least it wouldn't be that painful, like a getting a flu vaccination, or Novocaine. "How many children have you killed?" Nina sat back in the chair, relaxing. She was finally going to die, and she couldn't do anything about it, just let it happen.
The hating man came back to Nina he inserted the syringe in the back of her neck, "Not kill, Nina. You'll see."
And with those final words, Nina's vision blurred and and the world slipped away into blackness.
ADVICE COLUMN.
ASK ASHLEY
Dear Ashley,
There is a law in my country the forbids the birth of third children,and I am exactly that. I have been living in a small apartment with my Grandma and Aunts all my life and not until I was sent to a girls school that I had gotten into trouble with the population police--for something I had no idea about.
My significant other, Jason, had been trying to learn the secret identities of shadow children to turn them in and get a reward, in fact, when he turned them in, he was the one who was captured, for betraying his country. To get himself out of trouble, he blamed the whole entire thing on me. I was beaten and beaten some more until I finally learned this. They told me the only way I could live was if I helped them betray three children they had arrested for being third children (ages 10, 9 and 6), but they didn't have enough information to kill them yet. I was put in a prison cell with them for much time but they wouldn't allow me any information about them, even though I was also posing as a third child being imprisoned for having been born. What I did learn, was that they lived alone and took care of themselves.
I was in talking to the man who captured me when a guard was poisoned. The guard had dropped his keys and attracted my keeper's attention for a long enough time for me to pick up the keys being unnoticed. He called for the ambulance and left with the guard, me with the keys. I am torn between attempting to save myself, or me and the three children. What should I do?
Sincerely,
The third child
Dear Third Child,
It sounds like you're in an awfully tough predicament. You could either save yourself or save the lives of three children who have lived a tougher and not as long life as yourself. If you were to save yourself, and not the three children, what would happen to them? What would happen to yourself? If you save the children, as well as yourself, what do you suppose would happen then, what would you do from then on? I honestly don't suggest running from the law for any reason, but if you would like to help your fellow prisoners, who are unable to help themselves at this time, you should also think of the consequences you face when you are saving three people instead of just one. You could be seen, you could be caught by the police and then all three of you could face a fate worse than the one you had back at the prison. But, if you choose to save yourself and only yourself, think of the children, and what would happen to them if you left them in the prison, what would they think of you if you had ran away and had the chance to help them but chose not to. What if they have families that they want to get back to? A grandma and aunties that miss them, like yours do? Keep these in mind when you make your final decision and I hoped this helped your problem a bit.
Sincerely,
Ashley
Dear Ashley,
I have decided to help the three children escape with me. My biggest fear was that they'd slow me down and we'd for sure get caught, turns out, I'm the slow one! We are on our way back to a forest behind my old school where we'll grow a garden a live for a while. If it wasn't for your decent advice, I surely wouldn't have helped them and who knows what I would be doing now, probably returning to the jail, begging them to take me back. The woods are scary at night and they'd be worse if I were alone. They've taught me so much about surviving in the wilderness without adult care, I acutally kind of have to think for myself instead of having rules and teachers determine my every move. Thank you, Ashley for helping me make the choice I did. We're making much better time than I ever would have by myself.
Thank you so much,
Nina Idi
AMONG THE BETRAYED: PROBLEMS;EDITORIAL.
Nina Idi ran back through the forest. Saving Alia, Percy and Matthias was all she cared about. The Population Police had already found her, but she could still keep them from finding the three children she had risked everything to save.
"Percy! Matthias! Alia! Run!" At this point, the population police were closing all around Nina, flashlights shining all over the place. She felt a strong grip on her shoulder, then the other one. Nina struggled to free herself but the grip only tightened more. She kicked and screamed and cried until she saw him.
The hating man walked out in front of Nina and crouched down, eye level with her. "Fancy seeing you here, Nina Idi. I see you've found Percy and Matthias, but where is your dear little Alia? Oh yeah,while you were out being careless, she found her way back to us and reported a third child, you."
Nina looked behind her, sure enough, Percy and Matthias were holding on to Nina's frail arms, after she had helped them escape.
"Don't be surprised, Nina, we suspected you were a third child the whole time, it was just a matter of getting it out of you is all." He grinned a certain way that made Nina want to punch him right in the face.
"They're third children, too! They told me! You have the wrong person!" Nina tried to wiggle away from their firm grip but it seemed that they had grown stronger than she though while she was gone.
"Oh, Nina, even if we had suspected you weren't a third child, you would have never been smart enough to work for the population police. It just turned out that Matthias, Percy and Alia were all better actors than you thought. It's a shame, really, a six year old being a better actor than a thirteen year old who has been pretending to be a normal, first child all her life." He patted her head, then motioned behind him for someone. Two burly men appeared holding rifles and started to bind Nina's hands together. Percy and Matthias did nothing to help her. They just watched her being tied without expression.
After Nina's hands were bound so tightly they turned a dark shade of violet, Percy and Matthias jerked her off the ground like she had committed a crime against them and walked her to the back of a white van. They threw her in like a sack of spuds and she was driven back to the place she had so desperately tried to save Percy, Matthias and Alia from.
Nina was pushed on the ground, then kicked repeatedly for not getting up quick enough. She was dragged to what she thought was a cellar and left in the room for a few hours until the hating man came back. It was the beginning of her capture all over again.
"So, Nina, do you have any pathetic excuses to try and save yourself with this time? 'Oh, it wasn't my idea to run away! It was theirs!' that's how it went down, right?" He chuckled to himself and leaned back in a chair, seeming to have all the time in the world.
"You are wrong to do this." Nina was huddled in the corner, not even looking in the man's direction.
"To do what? Kill you for lying to the police? No, I am not, it's part of my job. You don't make the rules. My boss does."
"For killing third children."
The man paused and thought about it. "It's a law, those who choose not to follow it have decided their fate for themselves. Not my problem."
Nina was done talking. She allowed the hating man to strap her in a chair and fill a syringe with a substance she did not know. At least it wouldn't be that painful, like a getting a flu vaccination, or Novocaine. "How many children have you killed?" Nina sat back in the chair, relaxing. She was finally going to die, and she couldn't do anything about it, just let it happen.
The hating man came back to Nina he inserted the syringe in the back of her neck, "Not kill, Nina. You'll see."
And with those final words, Nina's vision blurred and and the world slipped away into blackness.
ADVICE COLUMN.
ASK ASHLEY
Dear Ashley,
There is a law in my country the forbids the birth of third children,and I am exactly that. I have been living in a small apartment with my Grandma and Aunts all my life and not until I was sent to a girls school that I had gotten into trouble with the population police--for something I had no idea about.
My significant other, Jason, had been trying to learn the secret identities of shadow children to turn them in and get a reward, in fact, when he turned them in, he was the one who was captured, for betraying his country. To get himself out of trouble, he blamed the whole entire thing on me. I was beaten and beaten some more until I finally learned this. They told me the only way I could live was if I helped them betray three children they had arrested for being third children (ages 10, 9 and 6), but they didn't have enough information to kill them yet. I was put in a prison cell with them for much time but they wouldn't allow me any information about them, even though I was also posing as a third child being imprisoned for having been born. What I did learn, was that they lived alone and took care of themselves.
I was in talking to the man who captured me when a guard was poisoned. The guard had dropped his keys and attracted my keeper's attention for a long enough time for me to pick up the keys being unnoticed. He called for the ambulance and left with the guard, me with the keys. I am torn between attempting to save myself, or me and the three children. What should I do?
Sincerely,
The third child
Dear Third Child,
It sounds like you're in an awfully tough predicament. You could either save yourself or save the lives of three children who have lived a tougher and not as long life as yourself. If you were to save yourself, and not the three children, what would happen to them? What would happen to yourself? If you save the children, as well as yourself, what do you suppose would happen then, what would you do from then on? I honestly don't suggest running from the law for any reason, but if you would like to help your fellow prisoners, who are unable to help themselves at this time, you should also think of the consequences you face when you are saving three people instead of just one. You could be seen, you could be caught by the police and then all three of you could face a fate worse than the one you had back at the prison. But, if you choose to save yourself and only yourself, think of the children, and what would happen to them if you left them in the prison, what would they think of you if you had ran away and had the chance to help them but chose not to. What if they have families that they want to get back to? A grandma and aunties that miss them, like yours do? Keep these in mind when you make your final decision and I hoped this helped your problem a bit.
Sincerely,
Ashley
Dear Ashley,
I have decided to help the three children escape with me. My biggest fear was that they'd slow me down and we'd for sure get caught, turns out, I'm the slow one! We are on our way back to a forest behind my old school where we'll grow a garden a live for a while. If it wasn't for your decent advice, I surely wouldn't have helped them and who knows what I would be doing now, probably returning to the jail, begging them to take me back. The woods are scary at night and they'd be worse if I were alone. They've taught me so much about surviving in the wilderness without adult care, I acutally kind of have to think for myself instead of having rules and teachers determine my every move. Thank you, Ashley for helping me make the choice I did. We're making much better time than I ever would have by myself.
Thank you so much,
Nina Idi
AMONG THE BETRAYED: PROBLEMS;EDITORIAL.
Dear Margaret Peterson Haddix,
In your story, "Among the Betrayed," it was full of many scientifically fictional adventures that the main character, Nina Idi, and three others, Matthias, Percy and Alia, shared while running away from the population police, the people that monitor and eliminate any third child births.
Nina and the other three children are all illegal and on the run from the population police, however, as the story continues to unfold, Nina finds it harder to remain trusting the three children when they tell her nothing about themselves. Although she knew that the three children had taken care of themselves before she found them, she had no idea their survival skills would be just as good in the wilderness as it was in the city where they came from before. She continues to believe theya re hiding something, but she is not sure as to what.
This story is hard to perdict, the characters are not obvious as to whom is bad and whom is good, nor are there very many clues to help lead you to the ending.
In short, this book is full of suspence and is at the very least predictable. This book has kept me intrigued for the time I read it, and I hope to continue the series to the end.
COMMERCIAL.
In the book "Among the Betrayed," author Margaret Peterson Haddix introduces a girl by the name of Nina Idi, she is living in a time where third child births are prohibited because of famines. Nina Idi, or by her real name Elodie, is a third child and she has been imprisoned for being accused of turning in third children for a reward with her boyfriend Jason, or Scott. The Population Police offer Nina to either help them betray other third children or to die. When Nina first sees the children, they are only 6, 9 and 10. She has a hard time deciding whether or not to betray them. Until a guard was poisoned and he dropped his keys in a place quite convenient for Nina to pick up and escape both herself and the three other children.Nina is running away from the population police, being accused for something she did not do. As they run away, Nina learns more, not a lot more, about the children and they, her. When they finally reach their destination (a forest behind Nina's old school) they discover a food garden that eventually leads to Nina's doom. Or does it? DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNN.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
MORE IDENTITY BOOK.
Biography Of Ashley C. By Elisa C.
One of my favorite people of whome I love to write about, would be Ashley Anne Cox.
Born November 7th, 1996, she came into this world a happy, giggly, bouncing baby girl. As she grew through the years, she always was a curious person who loved to keep herself content and entertained. The curious side of her personality included always wanting to figure out how things worked. She could always focus and concentrate on something until she could figure it out. For instance, one time in second grade, Ashley wanted to make cookies. She was told she could not make cookies by herself. She was never taught. Low and behold, one and a half hours later, to many family member's surprise, Ashley had grabbed an old cook book and read on her own how to make chocolate chip cookies. She only needed several questions answered and the rest was all by herself. She even checked the oven for pots and pans before she turned it on.
Perhaps one of Ashley's greatest qualities would be her ability to tell the truth, the truth is very important to Ashley, even if it is sometimes not what the person would want to hear. This quality about her has been demonstrated often when interacting with her friends and family.
We all agree that if you want the truth, we can always count on Ashley. Mrs. Perrigo, Ashley's fifth grade teacher, once said that if she was ever in need of knowing the truth that she could always count on Ashley, whether it be on a personal basis or goings on in the classroom while the teacher was not present.
Ashley's generosity has always been a huge strength. Her ability to give of her time and money (when she has it) , her ability to solve a problem or to volunteer, always astounds. She helps out her family chores and is always ready to help, even with her little brother's homework.
Ashley is generally in good spirits, mostly, always quick with a shy smile and a little gleam in her eye that says, "I see you deeply." To her friends and people who know her, she is bubbly, happy and a bit hyper at times but always fun loving. this quality in her personality is why people are drawn to her.
One thing Ashley is working on improving is her ability to get things done in the last minute. She sometimes gets so wrapped up in what she is doing that she isn't aware of the time passing by. This enables her to forget projects that are due in school the next day or getting into the shower right before she goes to bed. She is now trying to see this quality in herself and and is trying to keep in mind what time she needs to get to bed by in order to to get the necessary things done in time before her head hits the pillow.
The best thing about Ashley is knowing that life is better because of all the people she touches with her gentle (sarcastic at times) sense of humor, her sweet smile, her generous spirit, helpfulness, caring, trusting, truthful soul and most of all, her loving heart. The world is truly a better place because of Ashley Anne Cox.
My laughter
The things in laugh that make me laugh are important to me. Laughter is my favorite thing in the whole wide world and I often let it show. Although somethings I laugh about may not be the nicest things, they are still very funny and bring me great joy through humor. I mostly find myself laughing at other people's troubles, pain, disappointment, confusion, etc. I know it's not right and that I should not laugh at people's mistakes, but I am not laughing at them, I am laughing at the mistake or issue they had. I also laugh at some of the most random stuff, someone could say moldy foosball and I'd crack up. Sometimes, I work things out in my head that could happen and then I start to laugh at a, usually very, inappropriate time. Laughter is the greatest and that is what my friend Riley and I do on the bus almost everyday.
One time, my friend Riley and I were bored on the bus a really long time ago. She was eating cough drops and had accidentally dropped one on the seat. Of course the seat had an unidentifiable amount of children's butts that had previously sat there, and Riley decided it was best not to eat the cough. I supplied her with the idea of feeding it to someone unsuspecting.
Wrapping the cough drop up and feeding it to someone wasn't good enough though, so Riley took the cough drop and rubbed it in the space between the seat's leg and the floor where most of the dirt was collected. Riley then rubbed the cough drop in the person sitting in the seat in front of her's hair to rub off the noticeable dirt.
After the cough drop only had a few marks from rubbing against small rocks, Riley wrapped the cough drop back up and handed it to me. I asked some random kid if he wanted a cough drop with a completely straight face. He told us that he had been having a cough lately and that he would be much obliged to have it. Hiding my face, I threw the cough drop so hard I thought it burst against the window. The boy had said it was lost and both mine and Riley's heart sank. Then a few seconds later, he found it and placed it into his mouth.
When we looked back after we thought he had lost it, we saw the bugle in his cheek and started laughing hysterically. I laughed so hard that my eyes watered and my stomach hurt. As for Riley, she laughed until she cried.
Although our trick was mean, it was so hilarious that I have remembered it all this time and it still brings me a good laugh every now and then. Riley and I can always count on each other for an entertaining bus ride home.
My creativity.
For my creativity, I decided to write a story.
Have you ever dreamed of being a superhero? Well, for just a small fee of money and time, you too can become the next greatest superhero! Atleast, that's what a young boy from Wisconsin did.
Damien Woggarts was fourteen at the time he got his superpowers. Instead of some normal (If you'd like to call them normal. Common would be a much more appropriate word.) super powers, Damien had gotten amazing and abnormal (ab-common) superpowers! Damien's life has never been the same.
On April 4th of 2008, Damien Woggarts and his family (consisting of his mother, father, and adopted cousin) took a trip a trip to Scotland for a break from their dull everyday life. They all (mostly the mom and dad) decided to go to a lake. While they were at the lake, Damien had to use the restroom. Unfortunately, rarely anyone anyone visited the lake, creating cheap lodging, but no public restrooms at any of the local attractions. Damien made the final decision of going to the bathroom behind a bush. As Damien headed toward a huddle of large shrubberies, he thought he heard heavy breathing or a slight growl, maybe even an asthmatic. After Damien had finished doing his business, he turned around to enjoy the blue, blue and even more blue-ish view of the lake. Blocking his view was a huge, black beast. "His mother?" You may ask, but no, it was much, much bigger.He looked up, only to see two red eyes glaring down upon him.
As son as Damien had saw them, he knew there was nothing he could do to save his life. The next thing that happened was the utmost predictable, he was traveling down the Loch Ness Monster's esophagus. Once Damien was down in the stomach, he had realized he could breathe. No, Damien had not grown gills, but he had landed in a stomach bubble! A smelly stomach bubble but atleast he could live a bit longer, so he sat down.
"Hey there!" A perky but gruff voice came out of no where, which was totally unexpected.
Damien looked around but did not see anyone else in the stomach with him. "Uh. . . Hello?" He looked at the bottom of his bubble and saw a grubby little face looking up at him. Damien screamed and jumped when he discovered he was not alone.
"Don't be afraid, Little Feller! Gary won't hurt ya!"
The next thing Damien knew, there was an obnoxious hobo taking up most of the room in his bubble. "Holy crap!" Damien was frozen in place and utterly terrified.
"Don't be afraid! I'm Gary!" The hobo then started to pet Damien's hair, which creeped him out even more.
"Please don't hurt me, I have a severe sickness and only a few--" Damien was interrupted by the mysterious hobo's laughter. He couldn't believe it, why was this hobo laughing at him? "Why are you laughing at me? The least you could do is take me seriously before you eat me."
"The name's Gary. Been right here for twenty years. It's a mighty fine pleasure to meet you. . ." Gary still didn't know Damien's name.
"Damien. . . Damien Woggarts."
After several days of spending several days and nights in the Loch Ness Monster's stomach there came a very alarming rumbling that awoke both Gary and Damien.
"We're getting out of here!" exclaimed Gary. Just as soon as he spoke, his bubble floated through the roof of the stomach. Damien could feel his bubble rising and soon, his bubble popped! He almost drown, for he had been caught in the Loch Ness Monster's throat. He awoke to Gary beating on his lower stomach. "Ah! What the heck, Gary?" Damien pushed Gary away and could feel his stomach bruising.
"I was giving you CPR. I didn't want to be out in the real world alone." Gary looked down and started sulking.
Damien looked around, squinting at first. It looked around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, not night time at all. Nothing looked familiar from when he had first been swallowed, they could have traveled miles and Damien wouldn't know it. He looked back at the Loch Ness Monster just in time to shout "NO!" before he swallowed them again. The Loch Ness Monster looked at Damien, then at Gary and Damien realized what he must do. He had to train the Loch Ness Monster to leave tourists alone. And also hobos. It would be a long process but it would pay off in the end.
After two long years and all of the money in his wallet, Damien had successfully tamed Nessie, in return, Nessie promised Damien one wish, he wished for Gary and him to have super powers. After he made the wish, Nessie disappeared, and now it is up to Damien and Gary to discover what they are.
One of my favorite people of whome I love to write about, would be Ashley Anne Cox.
Born November 7th, 1996, she came into this world a happy, giggly, bouncing baby girl. As she grew through the years, she always was a curious person who loved to keep herself content and entertained. The curious side of her personality included always wanting to figure out how things worked. She could always focus and concentrate on something until she could figure it out. For instance, one time in second grade, Ashley wanted to make cookies. She was told she could not make cookies by herself. She was never taught. Low and behold, one and a half hours later, to many family member's surprise, Ashley had grabbed an old cook book and read on her own how to make chocolate chip cookies. She only needed several questions answered and the rest was all by herself. She even checked the oven for pots and pans before she turned it on.
Perhaps one of Ashley's greatest qualities would be her ability to tell the truth, the truth is very important to Ashley, even if it is sometimes not what the person would want to hear. This quality about her has been demonstrated often when interacting with her friends and family.
We all agree that if you want the truth, we can always count on Ashley. Mrs. Perrigo, Ashley's fifth grade teacher, once said that if she was ever in need of knowing the truth that she could always count on Ashley, whether it be on a personal basis or goings on in the classroom while the teacher was not present.
Ashley's generosity has always been a huge strength. Her ability to give of her time and money (when she has it) , her ability to solve a problem or to volunteer, always astounds. She helps out her family chores and is always ready to help, even with her little brother's homework.
Ashley is generally in good spirits, mostly, always quick with a shy smile and a little gleam in her eye that says, "I see you deeply." To her friends and people who know her, she is bubbly, happy and a bit hyper at times but always fun loving. this quality in her personality is why people are drawn to her.
One thing Ashley is working on improving is her ability to get things done in the last minute. She sometimes gets so wrapped up in what she is doing that she isn't aware of the time passing by. This enables her to forget projects that are due in school the next day or getting into the shower right before she goes to bed. She is now trying to see this quality in herself and and is trying to keep in mind what time she needs to get to bed by in order to to get the necessary things done in time before her head hits the pillow.
The best thing about Ashley is knowing that life is better because of all the people she touches with her gentle (sarcastic at times) sense of humor, her sweet smile, her generous spirit, helpfulness, caring, trusting, truthful soul and most of all, her loving heart. The world is truly a better place because of Ashley Anne Cox.
My laughter
The things in laugh that make me laugh are important to me. Laughter is my favorite thing in the whole wide world and I often let it show. Although somethings I laugh about may not be the nicest things, they are still very funny and bring me great joy through humor. I mostly find myself laughing at other people's troubles, pain, disappointment, confusion, etc. I know it's not right and that I should not laugh at people's mistakes, but I am not laughing at them, I am laughing at the mistake or issue they had. I also laugh at some of the most random stuff, someone could say moldy foosball and I'd crack up. Sometimes, I work things out in my head that could happen and then I start to laugh at a, usually very, inappropriate time. Laughter is the greatest and that is what my friend Riley and I do on the bus almost everyday.
One time, my friend Riley and I were bored on the bus a really long time ago. She was eating cough drops and had accidentally dropped one on the seat. Of course the seat had an unidentifiable amount of children's butts that had previously sat there, and Riley decided it was best not to eat the cough. I supplied her with the idea of feeding it to someone unsuspecting.
Wrapping the cough drop up and feeding it to someone wasn't good enough though, so Riley took the cough drop and rubbed it in the space between the seat's leg and the floor where most of the dirt was collected. Riley then rubbed the cough drop in the person sitting in the seat in front of her's hair to rub off the noticeable dirt.
After the cough drop only had a few marks from rubbing against small rocks, Riley wrapped the cough drop back up and handed it to me. I asked some random kid if he wanted a cough drop with a completely straight face. He told us that he had been having a cough lately and that he would be much obliged to have it. Hiding my face, I threw the cough drop so hard I thought it burst against the window. The boy had said it was lost and both mine and Riley's heart sank. Then a few seconds later, he found it and placed it into his mouth.
When we looked back after we thought he had lost it, we saw the bugle in his cheek and started laughing hysterically. I laughed so hard that my eyes watered and my stomach hurt. As for Riley, she laughed until she cried.
Although our trick was mean, it was so hilarious that I have remembered it all this time and it still brings me a good laugh every now and then. Riley and I can always count on each other for an entertaining bus ride home.
My creativity.
For my creativity, I decided to write a story.
Have you ever dreamed of being a superhero? Well, for just a small fee of money and time, you too can become the next greatest superhero! Atleast, that's what a young boy from Wisconsin did.
Damien Woggarts was fourteen at the time he got his superpowers. Instead of some normal (If you'd like to call them normal. Common would be a much more appropriate word.) super powers, Damien had gotten amazing and abnormal (ab-common) superpowers! Damien's life has never been the same.
On April 4th of 2008, Damien Woggarts and his family (consisting of his mother, father, and adopted cousin) took a trip a trip to Scotland for a break from their dull everyday life. They all (mostly the mom and dad) decided to go to a lake. While they were at the lake, Damien had to use the restroom. Unfortunately, rarely anyone anyone visited the lake, creating cheap lodging, but no public restrooms at any of the local attractions. Damien made the final decision of going to the bathroom behind a bush. As Damien headed toward a huddle of large shrubberies, he thought he heard heavy breathing or a slight growl, maybe even an asthmatic. After Damien had finished doing his business, he turned around to enjoy the blue, blue and even more blue-ish view of the lake. Blocking his view was a huge, black beast. "His mother?" You may ask, but no, it was much, much bigger.He looked up, only to see two red eyes glaring down upon him.
As son as Damien had saw them, he knew there was nothing he could do to save his life. The next thing that happened was the utmost predictable, he was traveling down the Loch Ness Monster's esophagus. Once Damien was down in the stomach, he had realized he could breathe. No, Damien had not grown gills, but he had landed in a stomach bubble! A smelly stomach bubble but atleast he could live a bit longer, so he sat down.
"Hey there!" A perky but gruff voice came out of no where, which was totally unexpected.
Damien looked around but did not see anyone else in the stomach with him. "Uh. . . Hello?" He looked at the bottom of his bubble and saw a grubby little face looking up at him. Damien screamed and jumped when he discovered he was not alone.
"Don't be afraid, Little Feller! Gary won't hurt ya!"
The next thing Damien knew, there was an obnoxious hobo taking up most of the room in his bubble. "Holy crap!" Damien was frozen in place and utterly terrified.
"Don't be afraid! I'm Gary!" The hobo then started to pet Damien's hair, which creeped him out even more.
"Please don't hurt me, I have a severe sickness and only a few--" Damien was interrupted by the mysterious hobo's laughter. He couldn't believe it, why was this hobo laughing at him? "Why are you laughing at me? The least you could do is take me seriously before you eat me."
"The name's Gary. Been right here for twenty years. It's a mighty fine pleasure to meet you. . ." Gary still didn't know Damien's name.
"Damien. . . Damien Woggarts."
After several days of spending several days and nights in the Loch Ness Monster's stomach there came a very alarming rumbling that awoke both Gary and Damien.
"We're getting out of here!" exclaimed Gary. Just as soon as he spoke, his bubble floated through the roof of the stomach. Damien could feel his bubble rising and soon, his bubble popped! He almost drown, for he had been caught in the Loch Ness Monster's throat. He awoke to Gary beating on his lower stomach. "Ah! What the heck, Gary?" Damien pushed Gary away and could feel his stomach bruising.
"I was giving you CPR. I didn't want to be out in the real world alone." Gary looked down and started sulking.
Damien looked around, squinting at first. It looked around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, not night time at all. Nothing looked familiar from when he had first been swallowed, they could have traveled miles and Damien wouldn't know it. He looked back at the Loch Ness Monster just in time to shout "NO!" before he swallowed them again. The Loch Ness Monster looked at Damien, then at Gary and Damien realized what he must do. He had to train the Loch Ness Monster to leave tourists alone. And also hobos. It would be a long process but it would pay off in the end.
After two long years and all of the money in his wallet, Damien had successfully tamed Nessie, in return, Nessie promised Damien one wish, he wished for Gary and him to have super powers. After he made the wish, Nessie disappeared, and now it is up to Damien and Gary to discover what they are.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Identity Book.
Ashley Anne,
My character
When I demonstrate kindness of any sort, I always consider fairness before I make any final decisions. When I think of fairness, I think of ways to be fair while keeping everyone's best interest in mind. There are many ways to find fairness in one part of a problem, but sometimes you might have to try a little harder to find a fair solution that works, while also keeping everyone happy. I think I am good at finding ways to be fair and honest, and also kind. Here is just one way that I have demonstrated spontaneous kindness in a way that helped me to feel humble, and to also be able to put myself into someone else's shoes.
On a dreary Winter's day, I was tagging along with my parent's to Bi-Mart in search of my grandmother's Christmas wish. When out of the car, I placed my foot upon the rain-drenched parking lot and noticed an odd feeling beneath my right foot. When I looked down at where my foot had previously been placed, I saw the turquoise color of an Oregon Trail card that had been soaking in the rain.
When I first picked the card up, there were several thoughts going through my mind: My family was struggling for money this Holiday Season and there was some that was just sitting there, free for the taking. Another thought I was having was how badly the people missing the card must be doing financially since they were on food stamps, especially during Christmas time. It was the last thought that put my dilemma to rest. If I were to take this Oregon Trail card, and keep it for my own, I would be taking money from someone who obviously needed it more than us. As I walked into Bi-Mart, I stopped by the customer service desk and let the lady working there know the whereabouts of the lost card.
After looking for my grandma's gift, we retreated from the store not being able to find it. But one thing that I learned that day was to always choose kindness at any opportunity you can. It was a good way to start off my Christmas break.
My Body.
The ways that I am able to keep my body healthy are:
-By exercising
And
-Eating right.
I exercise everyday! Whether it just be a stroll around the neighborhood, or a full blown, vigorous workout at my uncle's gym, I make sure and maintain a healthy amount of exercise in my everyday life. Exercise is important to me because it helps to keep me strong and healthy. It also helps you to feel alert and not sluggish.
Eating right is another way I keep myself healthy. If you eat the right amount of fruits and vegetables, it can work wonders on how well and long you are able to work out and exercise. I always have fruits and vegetables in my daily diet and it allows me to stay healthy and they keep me happy and keep me from getting depressed, especially the kinds of foods that have vitamin D in them.
Since I live in Oregon, it is difficult for me to always get Vitamin D, especially in the winter. Vitamin D keeps me from feeling anxiety and Depression. I have a lack of it because I do not get enough sun so I have to make sure and eat fruits and vegetables with enough Vitamin D to keep me happy.
Eating right and exercising go hand in hand, and that is why they are import to keep in your everyday life.
My Appearance.
My appearance is how I am defined. Many labels are out there and many people also choose to use them. I, however, think they are a way of being immature and trying to judge people when it's not necessary.
I am fourteen years of age and I am 5'6". I have naturally wavy and dark brown hair. My hiar is short at the moment, but it has been growing since 6th grade and is now shoulder length, a little lower actually, but I wear hair extensions to get it the length I want it. I have light blue eyes and very pale skin. I am a female and have no freckles and most of the time, clear skin (Woot! Woot!). I'm happy just the way I am and I have learned to live with the imperfections that make me, me.
My feelings.
I express my feelings in healthy ways as much as I can, but sometimes I express feelings that make me sad and it is much harder to express those feelings healthily.
One time, I was at Best Buy and I had saved up a whole bunch of money to go and buy CD's. As i was walking out the door, I realized I had no CD player to play them in. I decided to tell my mother about my troubles, but the only advice she had to offer was just to save up some more money and buy a CD player.
I was upset that I'd have to wait even longer to be able to listen to my CD's since it had already took me so much time and money to buy them all. I decided not to focus on the bad, but instead, focus on how wonderful it would be to listen to the CD's once I did get my CD player.
I stepped of the sidewalk and a man came up to me, holding the change from the purchase he had just made. He hesitantly handed me a ten dollar bill and forced a smile. It was so unexpected that I almost forgot to say thank you to the man who had just given me enough money for a CD player.
I felt so happy after that, that I felt obligated to share my new wealth, just as the man had shared with me. While standing at the cash register, I noticed a small acrylic box that was collecting money for a local charity. With all the change I had left, I shoved it in the little box and felt so glad to help someone who needed something, just as I had only minutes ago.
Instead of always dwelling on bad feelings, like not having enough money and having to wait a long to time to be able to listen to my CD's, I thought of how great my life would be after I got my CD player and was able to listen to my CD's. Almost immediately after I had expressed my feelings in a healthy and positive manner, I was rewarded by being given enough money to fix the problem I was facing. Ever since that day, I have always tried my best to express my feelings in a very healthy way.
My Relationships.
Relationships are important in life and the best people I know are the people I have healthy relationships with.
One healthy relationship I have is with my mother, Elisa. She has always been such a good listener with me and she could never judge me no matter what were to happen.. She doesn't overreact about the small things like some parents would do, and that is why I always trust her when I need someone to talk to. I will always tell her what's going on in my life, and I never ever try to hide things from her.
Another healthy relationship I have is with my grandpa, George. My grandpa is getting very old. Since my grandmother died, he has been very lonely and sad. My grandpa likes to have me around to help him with chores and to just have another living person around his home other than his cat and very obese dog. I can always count on my grandpa to give me a good laugh. He is very special to me and he is my most important person.
My friend Kelli is responsible for my most fun relationship. She can also be trusted with almost anything. She is honest and fair with me and is undoubtedly my bestest friend! Kelli has been home schooled all of her life and is a part of a family that is extremely active in church and a ton of church activities. In fact, I met Kelli at a church camp that my grandma enrolled me in and now it is the highlight of my year. Kelli and I are always finding ways to make each other laugh and smile and we can always be honest with each other.
Another one of my healthy relationships is with my aunt Kathy. We are both Scorpios so we understand each other's crude and sarcastic humor. We can always find ways to laugh and we enjoy the same activities so we can always have fun together! Although sometimes we can be a little rude and appear mean, we are really just joking and trying to have fun.
Ashley Anne,
My character
When I demonstrate kindness of any sort, I always consider fairness before I make any final decisions. When I think of fairness, I think of ways to be fair while keeping everyone's best interest in mind. There are many ways to find fairness in one part of a problem, but sometimes you might have to try a little harder to find a fair solution that works, while also keeping everyone happy. I think I am good at finding ways to be fair and honest, and also kind. Here is just one way that I have demonstrated spontaneous kindness in a way that helped me to feel humble, and to also be able to put myself into someone else's shoes.
On a dreary Winter's day, I was tagging along with my parent's to Bi-Mart in search of my grandmother's Christmas wish. When out of the car, I placed my foot upon the rain-drenched parking lot and noticed an odd feeling beneath my right foot. When I looked down at where my foot had previously been placed, I saw the turquoise color of an Oregon Trail card that had been soaking in the rain.
When I first picked the card up, there were several thoughts going through my mind: My family was struggling for money this Holiday Season and there was some that was just sitting there, free for the taking. Another thought I was having was how badly the people missing the card must be doing financially since they were on food stamps, especially during Christmas time. It was the last thought that put my dilemma to rest. If I were to take this Oregon Trail card, and keep it for my own, I would be taking money from someone who obviously needed it more than us. As I walked into Bi-Mart, I stopped by the customer service desk and let the lady working there know the whereabouts of the lost card.
After looking for my grandma's gift, we retreated from the store not being able to find it. But one thing that I learned that day was to always choose kindness at any opportunity you can. It was a good way to start off my Christmas break.
My Body.
The ways that I am able to keep my body healthy are:
-By exercising
And
-Eating right.
I exercise everyday! Whether it just be a stroll around the neighborhood, or a full blown, vigorous workout at my uncle's gym, I make sure and maintain a healthy amount of exercise in my everyday life. Exercise is important to me because it helps to keep me strong and healthy. It also helps you to feel alert and not sluggish.
Eating right is another way I keep myself healthy. If you eat the right amount of fruits and vegetables, it can work wonders on how well and long you are able to work out and exercise. I always have fruits and vegetables in my daily diet and it allows me to stay healthy and they keep me happy and keep me from getting depressed, especially the kinds of foods that have vitamin D in them.
Since I live in Oregon, it is difficult for me to always get Vitamin D, especially in the winter. Vitamin D keeps me from feeling anxiety and Depression. I have a lack of it because I do not get enough sun so I have to make sure and eat fruits and vegetables with enough Vitamin D to keep me happy.
Eating right and exercising go hand in hand, and that is why they are import to keep in your everyday life.
My Appearance.
My appearance is how I am defined. Many labels are out there and many people also choose to use them. I, however, think they are a way of being immature and trying to judge people when it's not necessary.
I am fourteen years of age and I am 5'6". I have naturally wavy and dark brown hair. My hiar is short at the moment, but it has been growing since 6th grade and is now shoulder length, a little lower actually, but I wear hair extensions to get it the length I want it. I have light blue eyes and very pale skin. I am a female and have no freckles and most of the time, clear skin (Woot! Woot!). I'm happy just the way I am and I have learned to live with the imperfections that make me, me.
My feelings.
I express my feelings in healthy ways as much as I can, but sometimes I express feelings that make me sad and it is much harder to express those feelings healthily.
One time, I was at Best Buy and I had saved up a whole bunch of money to go and buy CD's. As i was walking out the door, I realized I had no CD player to play them in. I decided to tell my mother about my troubles, but the only advice she had to offer was just to save up some more money and buy a CD player.
I was upset that I'd have to wait even longer to be able to listen to my CD's since it had already took me so much time and money to buy them all. I decided not to focus on the bad, but instead, focus on how wonderful it would be to listen to the CD's once I did get my CD player.
I stepped of the sidewalk and a man came up to me, holding the change from the purchase he had just made. He hesitantly handed me a ten dollar bill and forced a smile. It was so unexpected that I almost forgot to say thank you to the man who had just given me enough money for a CD player.
I felt so happy after that, that I felt obligated to share my new wealth, just as the man had shared with me. While standing at the cash register, I noticed a small acrylic box that was collecting money for a local charity. With all the change I had left, I shoved it in the little box and felt so glad to help someone who needed something, just as I had only minutes ago.
Instead of always dwelling on bad feelings, like not having enough money and having to wait a long to time to be able to listen to my CD's, I thought of how great my life would be after I got my CD player and was able to listen to my CD's. Almost immediately after I had expressed my feelings in a healthy and positive manner, I was rewarded by being given enough money to fix the problem I was facing. Ever since that day, I have always tried my best to express my feelings in a very healthy way.
My Relationships.
Relationships are important in life and the best people I know are the people I have healthy relationships with.
One healthy relationship I have is with my mother, Elisa. She has always been such a good listener with me and she could never judge me no matter what were to happen.. She doesn't overreact about the small things like some parents would do, and that is why I always trust her when I need someone to talk to. I will always tell her what's going on in my life, and I never ever try to hide things from her.
Another healthy relationship I have is with my grandpa, George. My grandpa is getting very old. Since my grandmother died, he has been very lonely and sad. My grandpa likes to have me around to help him with chores and to just have another living person around his home other than his cat and very obese dog. I can always count on my grandpa to give me a good laugh. He is very special to me and he is my most important person.
My friend Kelli is responsible for my most fun relationship. She can also be trusted with almost anything. She is honest and fair with me and is undoubtedly my bestest friend! Kelli has been home schooled all of her life and is a part of a family that is extremely active in church and a ton of church activities. In fact, I met Kelli at a church camp that my grandma enrolled me in and now it is the highlight of my year. Kelli and I are always finding ways to make each other laugh and smile and we can always be honest with each other.
Another one of my healthy relationships is with my aunt Kathy. We are both Scorpios so we understand each other's crude and sarcastic humor. We can always find ways to laugh and we enjoy the same activities so we can always have fun together! Although sometimes we can be a little rude and appear mean, we are really just joking and trying to have fun.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Nancy Drew Hidden Staircase Review and book report (:
By ashley anne c.FOR READING BOOK COVER THING.
Summary:
In the beginning of Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase, Nancy recieves a phone call from her friend, Helen Corning. Although Helen is 3 years older than Nancy, the two are still very close friends. Helen informs Nancy of the strange happenings at Twin Elms where Helen's Great Aunt and Great Grandmother live. After Helen's call ended, Nancy thought intently about the unusual occurrences at Helen's Folks' place. Nancy was wondering whether or not to accept the mystery Helen had invited her to solve. Her thought process was interrupted by a knock on the door. Hannah Gruen, Nancy and her father's maid and like a second mother figure to Nancy, offered to answer the door. When Hannah answered the door, a man named Nathan Gomber stood at the door. He had come to inform Nancy that her father was in grave danger and that for his best intrest, Nancy should not leave her father's side at all!
In the middle of Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase, Nancy Drew's father , after much convincing, finally got Nancy to believe that he was going to be okay and that nobody fromt eh railroad would hurt him. Apparently a man named Willie Wharton had signed a piece of paper that stated his land sold to the railroad company for them to construct their railroad further. The certificate was never notarized and he has denied his signature ever since he wanted to hold out for more money. Nancy's father was in the middle of this because he was a lawyer and was certain that Wharton's signature was indeed authentic. Nancy gets her father's okay to solve the mystery at Twin Elms as her father leaves to Chicago to look for Willie Wharton. After being at Twin Elms for a while, Nancy discovers several secret openings and listening posts used in the past for the master to spy on his slaves. Nancy also receives news that her father has been abducted by 3 men on his way to come and see her. She now has more on her plate than before!
In the end of Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase, Nancy decides to take a peak inside the house across the street that was built by the exact same architect that built Twin Elms. It was the exact same layout as Twin Elms and she knew there must be a way to get in from the other house because there have been no found entrances in Twin Elms that lead to the outside, or any other house for that matter. Nancy takes a look in the first bedroom of the house across the street and notices it has a closet. Nancy remembers that houses built back in the Colonial Times hardly ever had closets and that they were an extreme luxury. She knew there had to be a meaning for this closet and sure enough, she found a door on the floor of the closet. When she opened it, she found a staircase that led down to a big underground tunnel. As Nancy and Helen walked through the tunnel, there came a fork in the road. A man's voice came from behind them and when she turned around, the man fit the exact description of the man who had kidnaped her father. The man was actually Willie Wharton! He was so upset by the whole entire thing that without asking, he spilled the beans on every detail in the clever scheme. Apparently Nathan Gomber had been wanting Willie to deny his signature until he got a higher offer on his property. Willie had indeed brought Mr.Drew to the house across the street from Twin Elms, but Nathan Gomber forced him to leave the rest to him. Willie did not know where Nancy's father was, but he felt so awful about the whole entire thing that he helped her tell the police everything that had happened truthfully and when they caught Nathan Gomber, he didn't deny anything. He went to jail and Twin Elms was restored to normal! Nancy had also found her father drugged and laying in the cellar of the house across the street from Twin Elms. They were so happy to see each other and Helen and her family were happy to have there home back to normal!
Review
My review of the book Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase is indeed a positive one! This book would indeed attract to both young and old readers that truly appreciate the classics! Although the book might have been better off if it were a bit more thrilling, it was still over-all a fun book to read. The plot was a bit predictable, but still a very cute mystery! It is the first of my readings in the Nancy Drew series, and this book will indeed keep me reading the rest of 'em!
HIGHLIGHT OF THE BOOK!!! (:
The most exciting part of the book for me was when Nancy and Helen found the secret tunnel in the closet of the house across the street from Twin Elms. When Nancy had first opened the trap, she had fallen through the door, down the flight of steps, and onto the floor of the tunnel. Helen's automatic response was to freak out and ask very many questions, mostly consisting of the classic question, "Are you okay?!?" Nancy was fine, but she had just become very close to solving the mystery of Twin Elms. As Nancy and Helen walked down the underground tunnel, they came to a fork in the walk way, on one side, there was a stair case leading up to what seemed to be a different house. On the other side, it was to dark to tell. Nancy and Helen heard a man's voice come from behind them. The man admitted, quite openly, to being Willie Wharton. He told Nancy and Helen everything that he knew about the mystery Nancy was solving. He was the one who was causing all the ruckus in Twin Elms and he was fine admitting it. He had also been the one who kidnapped Nancy's father, Mr.Drew, but knew nothing about where he was now. The stair case Nancy and Helen had found actually led up to Twin Elms' attic and they used it to get to Helen's Great Grandmother and Aunt. Nancy and Helen and Willie Wharton told them the whole story and called the police to arrest Nathan Gomber for stealing pieces of jewelery from Twin Elms. And that, in my opinion, was the highlight of this story.
Chapter One: Nancy receives the invitation from Helen, via phone call, to solve the mystery of Twin Elms where Helen's Great Grandmother and Great Aunt live and also a visit from a man named Nathan Gomber to warn nacny that her father is in grave, grave danger.
Chapter Two: Helen and Aunt Rosemary, Helen's great Aunt, come to visit Nancy in person and see whether or not Nancy has accepted the much wanted solved mystery of Twin Elms. Nancy's father, Mr.Drew, arrives home at six o'clock and Nancy informs him of the visitor, Nathan Gomber and the fact that Mr.Drew is indeed in great danger.
Chapter Three: Helen confesses to Nancy that she is getting married to a man named Jim Archer and that he had proposed to Helen the night before. Nancy and Helen arrive to Helen's great Grandmother's estate only to find that a necklace has been stolen and no sign of a theif has been found through out the house!
Chapter Four: While Nancy, Helen, Aunt Rosemary and Mrs.Turnbull, Helen's great grandmother, finish lunch, Nancy hears a mysterious noise from the second story. She ran upstairs to find that someone had turned the radio on in Mrs.Turnbull's bedroom! not a sing of the ghost was anywhere in the entire house! Nor was there any secret openings anyone knew about!
Chapter Five: Nathan Gomber arrives at Mrs.Turnbull's estate wanting to buy it! He has been wanting to buy the estate for some time now but Mrs.Turnbull simply will not sell it! Also, as Nancy and everyone stood in the parlor discussing Nathan's terrible manners when all of a sudden the chandelier started to sway! Once again, Nancy ran up to the 2 story to find not a trace of any intruder being in the house at all.
Chapter Six: Nancy decided to see how the chandelier could have started to sway. she went up stairs and stood exactly above the chandelier and shifted her weight from side to side to see if she could get the chandelier to sway like before. Sure enough, it did work. But she had to wait to find that out after Helen's scream startled everyone! Helen had went into the kitchen after hearing a mysterious noise and peered out the window to a find a hideous gorilla face peering back at her!
Chapter Seven: A mysterious violin started to play, but as usual, not a sight of any life upstairs. They all called the police and ordered that a guard be sent out right away! Sure enough, the body guard showed up and at night while everyone was sleeping, an owl had found its way into the house. Not an entrance was open, not even the fireplace shutter!
Chapter Eight: Nancy and Helen search all of the outbuildings for a way into the house, but not a single one has a secret opening! Helen did fall through the floor, but the floor had just rotted out from under her and there was no secret entrance there at all. Nancy receives a letter at her own home that says her father has been unavoidable detained and will not arrive Wednesday when he was supposed to.
Chapter Nine: Nancy, Helen, Aunt Rosemary, and Mrs.Turnbull all try on some costumes and dance while Mrs.Turnbull plays a beautiful song on an old spinet that sits in the corner. Also, the guard had caught someone sneaking around the grounds, but it was not the ghost, turns out he was just walking home from a friends house because his wife had the car out shopping.
Chapter Ten: Nancy and Helen stay up all night and watch the house. Helen ran to the door and yelled "THIEF!!" because she saw the couch move! They also notice missing food out of the pantry and fridge!
Chapter Eleven: More food had been stolen from Twin Elms and Nancy also found that the letter that had supposedly been from her father was a hoax and Mr.Drew had not really sent them a letter at all!
Chapter Twelve: Nancy found a small, grass-overgrown hillock that looked like it had been an old aqueduct. unfortunately, what Nancy thought to have been a secret passage ti the house, was really only what it seemed.
Chapter Thirteen: She found one of the men that helped abduct her father and chased him until he got in his car and drove away. Also, when Nancy was on the phone with Hannah, the roof ceiling had fallen down on top of her!
Chapter Fourteen: Mrs.Turnbull had seen a man in her house that she had no idea who he was and had nearly had a heart attack, yet, she refuses to leave her home!
Chapter Fifteen: Nancy found a hidden passage in an old china cabinet, but it didn't lead anywhere but behind the wall og the kitchen. It was for the slave's Master's to listen to their conversations.
Chapter Sixteen: After much threatening, Nathan Gomber finally got Mrs.Turnbull to sell Twin Elms to him.
Chapter seventeen: Nancy finds a door in the ceiling of the attic that leads to the roof, but it has not been used in a very long time.
Chapter Eighteen: The police arrest Samuel Greenman, one of the men who was a partner in crime when it came to abducting Mr.Drew.
Chapter Nineteen: Nancy gets the keys to the house across the street so she can look for hidden doorways and passages. Nancy and Helen find a staircase in the bedroom in which corresponds to Mrs.Turnbull's.
Chapter Twenty: Willie Wharton followed Nancy and Helen down the staircase. Willie confessed everything to Nancy and Helen that he knew about the kidnapping and ghosting and it turns out, Willie was actually the ghost! Willie also confessed to the notary that the signature on the bill of sale was indeed actually his. In the dungeon of the duplicate of Twin Elms, Nancy found a padlocked door. They opened it and inside the dungeon was none other than Mr.Drew! Shortly after the reunion, The police caught Nathan Gomber snooping around outside of the house. Nancy was so pleased to discover she had solved The Mystery of the Hidden Staircase.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
333 Ways to get kicked out of Wal-Mart (:
1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell "AIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!"
8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell "THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!"
10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell "PICK ME"
11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men
13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them
14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice
15. Randomly place 24 bags of candy in peoples carts
16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say "code three in house ware" and see what happens
18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department
19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap
20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor
21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
22. Open a pack of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a "d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!"
23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation
24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, "I know where you live..."
25. Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool...
26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it
27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I changed my mind."
28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song
29. Say things like, "Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?"
30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Then run out of the store screaming
31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called wal mart? Or what's up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can't you all remember your own names?
32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles
33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you're going to bite them
34. Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady's face and watch her freak out
35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, "I like to move it, move it! Or say "You got chicken legs!"
36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room
38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food"
39. TP as much of the store as possible
40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices!! then get back up & act normal
41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "use this wisely."
42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke
43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one... I know I know... hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off
44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day
45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department
46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom
47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!"
48. Over the intercom say there is a big sale on all items in electronics department and first 10 people to the check outs gets one item free... & see what happens
49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in peoples carts
50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners
51. Run through the store and jump on random peoples carts singing I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!
52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night
53. Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras
54. Get a marker & go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items... the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand
55. Go up to some of the customers while your carrying a paper bag and say "trick or treat!" and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face
56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by
57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
58. Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a Mcchicken
59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, That's better"
60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, "A clue a clue!"
61. Go to a clerk and tell them u lost your son and ask if they can call his name over the speaker! When they ask u his name make up a ridiculous name
62. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters
63. While Humming the theme to Mission Impossible While wearing all black, knock over all of the cans
64. Take all the CD's put them in the wrong place and when an employee puts them all back yell at her and mess them up again
65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you
66. Take a friend with you and a younger child and start arguing over who gets custody then have the child run away and out of the store and yell CILLY COME BACK!!!
67. Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing
68. Run through the make-up department and yell, "There's a dead body in aisle 3!!!"
69. Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head
70. Dress up in a fairy costume, and climb up a ladder and when people go by say "your wish is granted"
71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell "ROLLBACK!!!"
72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say... sir or madam... don't think that.
73. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, "Shut up in there."
74. Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, "She's horrible at giving make-overs!" and point to a random woman.
75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song
76. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store
77. Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kids aisle, and pretend to be dead
78. Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away and when someone tries to pick it up run up to them and yell hands off my dollar!! Then got to a manager and tell him that they stole 20 dollars from you
79. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles
80. Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous."
81. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down
82. Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham
83. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags
84. Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle
85. Act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions
86. Swing on the half price banners
87. Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask what and walk off like you're annoyed
88. Burp and say mmmm, tasty
89. Hold Barbie for ransom
90. Run around with a country music cd and sing Queen's "We Will Rock You"
91. throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone's cart
92. Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you're talking to her by saying "Let's bust this joint!"
93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!"
94. Do your own radio show over the intercom
95. Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff and hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say "Luke, I am your father" and make breathing noises in your darth vader mask
96. Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up
97. Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming 'EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN!
98. find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with your self when everyone is watching you
99. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices
100. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over
101. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund
102. get a cardboard box, go in the store and pop out of the box and give out candy to passerby
103. Find the fish section and when someone walks by begin to pet the fish tank and say, "I know how you feel..."
104. Spill water on the floor, and run around claiming that the store is flooded
105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items
106. Scream really loudly and when someone tells you to be quiet scream, "I will not be silenced!!!!"
107. Hold a bag of frozen veggies over your head and yell "Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!!"
108. Hug someone randomly and say, "I love u mommy!"
109. Go in the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit
110. Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming "HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!"
111. Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around
112. Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk "Mommy, guess what? I'm a big kid now!!"
113. Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend ur having a nightmare about cookies and yell " COOKIE!! COOKIE!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!" Then start rolling around
114. Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, "I'm the little girl from the well... I've been waiting..."
115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy frys. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the frys above their head like there getting married
116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, "I see dead people!"
117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in
118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.
119. Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.
120. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.
121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend.
122. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
123. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from McDonalds, but not Walmart
124. Get popcorn and throw at customers, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things 125. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
126. When your alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents.
127. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.
128. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can.
130. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.
132. Light a match under a sprinkler
133. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away.
134. Buy something that is like $5 and give the cashier all pennies.
135. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.
136. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this"
137. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.
138. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
139. start hitting on the mannequins.
140. Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up.
141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap.
142. Put women's clothes into men's carts.
143. Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men's carts when they aren't looking.
144. Run around in front of a mirror screaming "COPYCAT!"
145. Bring a friend and a stopwatch. Get carts and race around. every time you nock something over, subtract a second from your time. You usually get kicked out before you figure out who won.
146. Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say "WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!"
147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don't have it, start crying and scream, "Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!?"
148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel
149. Steal their ketchup, go on the counter, smear ketchup all over you and say HELP ME HELP ME! OMG! THE HOTDOG KILLED ME!
150. Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell 'HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!!!!"
151. Run around switching all of the open signs on the cash registers to closed and all of the closed signs to open. Watch the customers get confused.
152. Ask for Goat Milk
153. Make sure somebody's in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say "AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!" Until someone asks if you're alright. When they do, get up and say, "Yes, I'm fine, why?" And then walk away calmly like nothing happened.
154. Dress up as an emo kid, then scream at people, "WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?!"
155. Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people
156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"
157. Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can't see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling "Hey, I'm Using the Bathroom in here!!!"
158. Buy a chocolate bar, go to the bathroom, smear chocolate on your hand, reach under the next stall and ask, "Can I have some toilet paper?"
159. Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans!
160. Climb up to one of the really high shelves and start singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. Works better around summer.
161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing "Surfin' USA"
162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, "God has spoken!!!"
163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way.
164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker!
165. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. whoever blows up most wins
166. Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head.
167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3.
168. Go into one of those employees only doors and go behind some food shelves. when people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it.
169. eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face
170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time.
171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg.
172. Start playing the violin.
173. Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, "Shh, this is my favorite show!"
174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead.
175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in.
176. walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce lika a bum
177. Poke people and run away screaming, "Don't touch me!!!"
178. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily
179. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan.
180. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend.
181. Shoot spitwads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically
182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, "Ooh la la!"
183. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!"
184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff
185. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes.
186. Walk around in a court jester costume
187. Run at people with a pitch fork
188. Pretend that you're having a heart attack
189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them
190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, "Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there's a sale on isle two."
191. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, "Where's my chap stick?!"
192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people
193. Claim isle three as your 'Secret Lair'
194. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can.
195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it's a potato sack on field day
196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals
197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera
198. Yell curse words at people
199. Knock down as many displays as you can
200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, "I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" and then give him a hug and run away.
201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, "MARRY ME!" to random people
202. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away
203. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, "How much is that?"
204. Get a tent and campout with the Barbie dolls in the toy isle
205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces
206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!"
207. Turn on all the flashlights, hang them from the ceiling, stand under them, scatter confetti at your feet, and start singing, using a Barbie as a microphone.
208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming.
209. Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes.
210. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, "What a rip off!" And walk out of the store.
211. Start singing, "Tinkle, tinkle, little star! In a toilet that's real far! Up above us in the sky! It's weird to learn that pee does fly! Make sure it does never land! In my, my, my, my, my hand!"
212. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years.
213. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short.
214. Scream, "Look! Someone's stealing an old lady's purse!" and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting "I'm a terrorist!"
215. Run out of the dressing room screaming, "Michael Jackson has my dad!"
216. Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, "I'll have that one. And that one. And that one..." Keep going until you've pointed to every fish they have in stock
217. Tap dance through the store
218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican
219. Rip open every package you see
220. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way.
221. Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically)
222. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi."
223. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some live music." Then sing it again.
224. Run around with underwear on your head, screaming, "I am Captain Underpants!"
225. Follow a male security dude and ask him where the "feminine needs" are.
226. Go to the toy isle, set up the GI joe figures and yell, " Then it's WAR!!!"
227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and "water" the flowers.
228. Go to the bakery section and yell "I LOVE PIE!" to everyone you see.
229. Take all the pets out of their cages, including the fish.
230. Grab a strawberry shortcake doll and go to the bakery section. Tell the baker "I'd like to buy strawberry shortcake!" and hold the doll in their face.
231. Scream, "GET OUT OF MY YARD!" to everyone who walks by you.
232. Announce that there's a huge sale at Target
233. Throw a party in a busy isle
234. Test drive lawn mowers
235. Have a tennis tournament in the middle of the store
236. Throw all the bouncy balls in the toy section everywhere and let them bounce around
237. Carry a bomb and make it explode
238. Eat a bunch of candy and refuse to pay for it
239. Go to the in store restaurant and order anything. When receiving it tell them that this was not what you wanted. Refuse to pay and go tell the manager
240. Hide in a pile of plushies and then jump out at people who walk by
241. Act like an old lady and scream, "AH! I broke my back! This wouldn't happen at Target!"
242. Pretend to be a life size Barbie. When someone wants to buy you, run away screaming that someone was trying to kidnap you.
243. Take a marker to all the happy faces. Then change the prices. That will start an uproar
244. When a clerk stops you and asks your name read their name of their id card. When they say it's not your name scream, "IDENTITY THEFT!!!"
245. Throw jelly sweets at the cashiers
246. Steal a shopping cart(As in take it out of the store and put it in your car)
247. Ride on the back of the carts. (they hate it when you do that) Run into other carts yelling like a maniac.
248. Follow one person around the store. Poke them ever so often. When the snap and yell at you scream, "STALKER!!"
249. Pretend like you're a person who works there and walk around saying, "Can I help you find anything?"
250. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it
251. Pretend like you're blind and can't find what your looking for. Go up to random people and ask, "Will you help me find some cat food for Fluffy?"
252. Bowl with bottles full of open soda
253. Run around with a bowl of cheerios yelling, "It lowered my cholesterol!"
254. Order a pizza from the cashier
255. Ask to have your pizza shaken, not stirred
256. Start a food fight
257. Go up to a fat woman and say, "Taxi?"
258. Put underwear over your shorts, get a blue shirt, yellow paint, and red paint, paint an s on the shirt, go to the material section, cut a red cape, then get an umbrella, open it, and jump off the tops of shelves.
259. Take the spray paint and paint all the people around you
260. Go up to random people and hug them while putting a 'Kick Me' sign on the back of their shirt
261. Hide in dark places with a golden ring. when people walk by, jump out at them hissing, "We wants it! You cants have it!" Then gently whisper, "it will be alright my precious"
262. Flip off the manager
263. Go to the food section, take all of the boxed items out, and stack them up to make a fort. Glue can help. And creating a 'distraction' elsewhere for the employees to handle while you work does too...
264. Drop a pen and let someone else go and pick it up for you. When they do try to pick it up yell to them, "HEY THATS MY PEN THEIF!"
265. Bring a slip n' slide blast some Music and bring some random people to it and kick their back so they slide accross the slip n' slide and scream "PARTY IN THE HIZ HOUSE!!!!!!!"
266. Throw a dance party
267. Write on the floors
268. Pull all the clothes off the racks into a pile on the floor and hide under it, and when someone tries to pick the clothes up, leap out cackling madly and run down the aisles, still cackling.
269. Go up to someone and say "look over there" Then pull down their pants. And, if you're lucky, their underwear.
270. Pretend to have an asthma attack, and when someone tries to help you, bite them. Or pretend to faint.
271. Get a bag of chips and walk around the store eating them. When an employee tries to stop you or make you pay, tell them that they're your chips! Keep screaming it.
272. Spray a customer with pepper spray and scream, "Help! Help! He's a rapist!"
273. Pretend to be a rabid dog and run around growling at people. Then if someone tries to stop you, bite them.
274. Lie on the floor. Just lie there. It is guaranteed to freak people out. Either pretend to be asleep, or to have passed out.
275. Take toys and put them on the floor and take a cart. Start running over the toys screaming, "Monster Truck Mania!!!"
276. Climb up the shelves/storage units, then refuse to come down.
277. Take red juice Pour it on your face make streaks or stripes then layout on the floor with a flower in your hand when a crowd of people come stand up and walk like a zombie!
278. Grab a bowl, spoon, milk, and cereal. Eat it right there and tell them you'll pay when your done.
279. Stand on the conveyer belt when your checking out and walk like its a treadmill... then ask for a speed increase
280. Wrap yourself in toilet paper rolls and pretend to be a mummy looking for your wife, Cleopatra
281. Follow a stranger around and mimic them. Continue doing this for a long period of time.
282. If you are in Target, say there is a code yellow
283. Get some candy corn form the candy aisle put two on your canine teeth and go around the store biting peoples necks
284. Flirt with the manager's wife
285. Walk calmly to the CDs, when u see one that has Hilary Duff, yell (if you're a fan) OHMIGOD! HILARY'S LATEST! OHMIGOSH, I, LIKE HAVE TO HAVE THIS! (if you're not a fan) Find a hammer, take the CD, gently put it on the floor, then mash it like a madman.
286. Run around spinning and say you're the Tasmanian devil
287. Run around in circles and yell, "I'M THE CIRCLE MAN!"
288. Announce a sock-sliding contest and take off your shoes and start sliding. It's actually really fun...
289. Go up to a employee ask for a application and where it says goals write down 'to take over Wal-Mart' and turn it in
290. Get a water gun and threaten someone with it. A cashier is usually a prime candidate. Then say in a low, dangerous voice (without collapsing into laughter) "Empty out the cash register."
291. Take a soda, shake it up, and then spray it at people.
292. Hide in the clothes so when someone comes to look you yell, "PICK ME!"
293. Request that an employee find you an imaginary product, then keep saying: "I know it's here somewhere, just keep looking!" Eventually the employee will run out of patience, so then you say: "You've been punked!" And run out screaming and laughing. (Maybe you won't get kicked out, but you'll freak an employee out...)
294. Print out a bunch of advertisements for Target, Marshalls, etc... Then calmly go around taping/gluing/stapling them to products, people, and walls. It helps to have a WHOLE lot of them.
295. Move things around. (Put frozen food in with the barbies, etc...)
296. If a fat person has a twinkies in their cart take it out and start eating it and spit it out on them and yell, "That crud is sick!"
297. Point at an old man and yell, "LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!"
298. Put a ski mask on and wear a black cape with black clothes and a fake sword and yell, "Zoro has returned!"
299. Dress up as an old lady and whack people with your purse and when employees come to stop you, pretend to faint
300. Go to Wal-Mart at 2:00 in the morning and do cartwheels around the store screaming, "I'm pregnant!"
301. Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas
302. Break some glass, then accuse a flying monkey
303. Threaten a cashier with a candy bar
304. Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal Mart a Make Over.
305. Buy a bag of candy. Start to walk away, then ask if you can exchange them. Repeat until they get angry.
306. Go to the dairy section and protest against milking cows. Say things like, "What if the cows aren't ok with us milking them? Cows have rights too!" 307. Redecorate the Rollback Smiley Face so he is green with neon pink eyes.
308. Go up to the manager and ask where the nearest K-Mart is.
309. If you see a couple holding hands, run through their hands and scream, "RED ROVER!"
310. Grab a gnome, then hide in a clothes rack and when someone picks out a shirt or whatever jump out and yell "The gnome did it! The gnome did it!" Then throw the gnome and run.
311. Put up free sample signs all over the store and watch people leave with their "free samples."
312. Run around the store screaming, "OMG! HELP! PINTO BEANS ARE TAKING OVER COSTCO! AHHH!"
313. In Walmart, they give out free stickers. Take them and decorate your body with them. 314. Get a bunch of your friends, about 10 or more, and go up to a lady who looks like she's in her 20's. When there are lots of people around, ask, "Mommy? Can we have some ice cream?"
315. Spit in the manager's face
316. Stare at a customer for a long time while saying, "Hello, hello, hello" nonstop until they get really mad
317. Go to customer service and say, "Your fat vallet guy stole my car."
318. Put an "Out of Order" sign on the manager's butt
319. Go up to customers and whisper, "Seven Days..." and if they turn around, pelt them with Skittles
320. Melt chocolate, then scream, "Free face masks!"
321. Wear a pair of bright yellow pants on your head and run around screaming, "They Got Me!!"
322. Slap the manager and scream, "He's alive! He's ALIVE!!!"
323. Put a lot of matches and gasoline in your cart, then smile at people
324. Run around the store five times, and when you are done, scream, "I WIN!" and do a victory dance
325. Let a collie lose in the store, then scream, "Lassie, come home!"
326. Make your friend that's a guy try on girl clothes and then have him run around like a crazy person.
327. Hide in a boys clothes rack, and when a boy with glasses walks by, scream, "You're a wizard, Harry!"
328. Grab lots of G.I. Joe action figures and Water Bombs and yell, "ITS WAR!!!" whenever someone walks by and throw the bombs at them.
329. Put a Dora toy on the floor and when someone tries to pick it up, yell, "Swiper No Swiping!"
330. Buy a fake but expensive looking vase. (ex. a cheap glass pot.) Fill it with some ash and soot. Then take it to an employee, bump into him and drop it so it shatters. Then keep screaming at him that it was your mother and you will sue him for every thing he owns, and tell him he has to pick it up then and there or he will be cursed for 10 years.
331. Put a squirt gun in a stuffed elmo's hand and scream, "Everybody down!! Elmo's got a gun!"
332. Drive around in a kiddie car singing the batman theme song.
333. Run around with underwear on your head screaming, "I'm Blind!!!
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell "AIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!"
8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell "THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!"
10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell "PICK ME"
11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men
13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them
14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice
15. Randomly place 24 bags of candy in peoples carts
16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say "code three in house ware" and see what happens
18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department
19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap
20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor
21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
22. Open a pack of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a "d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!"
23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation
24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, "I know where you live..."
25. Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool...
26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it
27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I changed my mind."
28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song
29. Say things like, "Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?"
30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Then run out of the store screaming
31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called wal mart? Or what's up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can't you all remember your own names?
32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles
33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you're going to bite them
34. Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady's face and watch her freak out
35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, "I like to move it, move it! Or say "You got chicken legs!"
36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room
38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food"
39. TP as much of the store as possible
40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices!! then get back up & act normal
41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "use this wisely."
42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke
43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one... I know I know... hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off
44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day
45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department
46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom
47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!"
48. Over the intercom say there is a big sale on all items in electronics department and first 10 people to the check outs gets one item free... & see what happens
49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in peoples carts
50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners
51. Run through the store and jump on random peoples carts singing I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!
52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night
53. Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras
54. Get a marker & go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items... the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand
55. Go up to some of the customers while your carrying a paper bag and say "trick or treat!" and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face
56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by
57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
58. Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a Mcchicken
59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, That's better"
60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, "A clue a clue!"
61. Go to a clerk and tell them u lost your son and ask if they can call his name over the speaker! When they ask u his name make up a ridiculous name
62. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters
63. While Humming the theme to Mission Impossible While wearing all black, knock over all of the cans
64. Take all the CD's put them in the wrong place and when an employee puts them all back yell at her and mess them up again
65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you
66. Take a friend with you and a younger child and start arguing over who gets custody then have the child run away and out of the store and yell CILLY COME BACK!!!
67. Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing
68. Run through the make-up department and yell, "There's a dead body in aisle 3!!!"
69. Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head
70. Dress up in a fairy costume, and climb up a ladder and when people go by say "your wish is granted"
71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell "ROLLBACK!!!"
72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say... sir or madam... don't think that.
73. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, "Shut up in there."
74. Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, "She's horrible at giving make-overs!" and point to a random woman.
75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song
76. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store
77. Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kids aisle, and pretend to be dead
78. Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away and when someone tries to pick it up run up to them and yell hands off my dollar!! Then got to a manager and tell him that they stole 20 dollars from you
79. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles
80. Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous."
81. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down
82. Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham
83. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags
84. Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle
85. Act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions
86. Swing on the half price banners
87. Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask what and walk off like you're annoyed
88. Burp and say mmmm, tasty
89. Hold Barbie for ransom
90. Run around with a country music cd and sing Queen's "We Will Rock You"
91. throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone's cart
92. Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you're talking to her by saying "Let's bust this joint!"
93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!"
94. Do your own radio show over the intercom
95. Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff and hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say "Luke, I am your father" and make breathing noises in your darth vader mask
96. Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up
97. Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming 'EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN!
98. find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with your self when everyone is watching you
99. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices
100. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over
101. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund
102. get a cardboard box, go in the store and pop out of the box and give out candy to passerby
103. Find the fish section and when someone walks by begin to pet the fish tank and say, "I know how you feel..."
104. Spill water on the floor, and run around claiming that the store is flooded
105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items
106. Scream really loudly and when someone tells you to be quiet scream, "I will not be silenced!!!!"
107. Hold a bag of frozen veggies over your head and yell "Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!!"
108. Hug someone randomly and say, "I love u mommy!"
109. Go in the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit
110. Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming "HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!"
111. Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around
112. Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk "Mommy, guess what? I'm a big kid now!!"
113. Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend ur having a nightmare about cookies and yell " COOKIE!! COOKIE!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!" Then start rolling around
114. Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, "I'm the little girl from the well... I've been waiting..."
115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy frys. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the frys above their head like there getting married
116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, "I see dead people!"
117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in
118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.
119. Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.
120. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.
121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend.
122. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
123. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from McDonalds, but not Walmart
124. Get popcorn and throw at customers, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things 125. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
126. When your alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents.
127. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.
128. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can.
130. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.
132. Light a match under a sprinkler
133. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away.
134. Buy something that is like $5 and give the cashier all pennies.
135. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.
136. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this"
137. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.
138. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
139. start hitting on the mannequins.
140. Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up.
141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap.
142. Put women's clothes into men's carts.
143. Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men's carts when they aren't looking.
144. Run around in front of a mirror screaming "COPYCAT!"
145. Bring a friend and a stopwatch. Get carts and race around. every time you nock something over, subtract a second from your time. You usually get kicked out before you figure out who won.
146. Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say "WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!"
147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don't have it, start crying and scream, "Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!?"
148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel
149. Steal their ketchup, go on the counter, smear ketchup all over you and say HELP ME HELP ME! OMG! THE HOTDOG KILLED ME!
150. Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell 'HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!!!!"
151. Run around switching all of the open signs on the cash registers to closed and all of the closed signs to open. Watch the customers get confused.
152. Ask for Goat Milk
153. Make sure somebody's in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say "AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!" Until someone asks if you're alright. When they do, get up and say, "Yes, I'm fine, why?" And then walk away calmly like nothing happened.
154. Dress up as an emo kid, then scream at people, "WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?!"
155. Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people
156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"
157. Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can't see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling "Hey, I'm Using the Bathroom in here!!!"
158. Buy a chocolate bar, go to the bathroom, smear chocolate on your hand, reach under the next stall and ask, "Can I have some toilet paper?"
159. Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans!
160. Climb up to one of the really high shelves and start singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. Works better around summer.
161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing "Surfin' USA"
162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, "God has spoken!!!"
163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way.
164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker!
165. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. whoever blows up most wins
166. Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head.
167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3.
168. Go into one of those employees only doors and go behind some food shelves. when people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it.
169. eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face
170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time.
171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg.
172. Start playing the violin.
173. Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, "Shh, this is my favorite show!"
174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead.
175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in.
176. walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce lika a bum
177. Poke people and run away screaming, "Don't touch me!!!"
178. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily
179. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan.
180. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend.
181. Shoot spitwads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically
182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, "Ooh la la!"
183. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!"
184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff
185. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes.
186. Walk around in a court jester costume
187. Run at people with a pitch fork
188. Pretend that you're having a heart attack
189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them
190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, "Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there's a sale on isle two."
191. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, "Where's my chap stick?!"
192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people
193. Claim isle three as your 'Secret Lair'
194. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can.
195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it's a potato sack on field day
196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals
197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera
198. Yell curse words at people
199. Knock down as many displays as you can
200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, "I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" and then give him a hug and run away.
201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, "MARRY ME!" to random people
202. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away
203. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, "How much is that?"
204. Get a tent and campout with the Barbie dolls in the toy isle
205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces
206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!"
207. Turn on all the flashlights, hang them from the ceiling, stand under them, scatter confetti at your feet, and start singing, using a Barbie as a microphone.
208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming.
209. Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes.
210. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, "What a rip off!" And walk out of the store.
211. Start singing, "Tinkle, tinkle, little star! In a toilet that's real far! Up above us in the sky! It's weird to learn that pee does fly! Make sure it does never land! In my, my, my, my, my hand!"
212. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years.
213. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short.
214. Scream, "Look! Someone's stealing an old lady's purse!" and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting "I'm a terrorist!"
215. Run out of the dressing room screaming, "Michael Jackson has my dad!"
216. Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, "I'll have that one. And that one. And that one..." Keep going until you've pointed to every fish they have in stock
217. Tap dance through the store
218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican
219. Rip open every package you see
220. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way.
221. Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically)
222. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi."
223. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some live music." Then sing it again.
224. Run around with underwear on your head, screaming, "I am Captain Underpants!"
225. Follow a male security dude and ask him where the "feminine needs" are.
226. Go to the toy isle, set up the GI joe figures and yell, " Then it's WAR!!!"
227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and "water" the flowers.
228. Go to the bakery section and yell "I LOVE PIE!" to everyone you see.
229. Take all the pets out of their cages, including the fish.
230. Grab a strawberry shortcake doll and go to the bakery section. Tell the baker "I'd like to buy strawberry shortcake!" and hold the doll in their face.
231. Scream, "GET OUT OF MY YARD!" to everyone who walks by you.
232. Announce that there's a huge sale at Target
233. Throw a party in a busy isle
234. Test drive lawn mowers
235. Have a tennis tournament in the middle of the store
236. Throw all the bouncy balls in the toy section everywhere and let them bounce around
237. Carry a bomb and make it explode
238. Eat a bunch of candy and refuse to pay for it
239. Go to the in store restaurant and order anything. When receiving it tell them that this was not what you wanted. Refuse to pay and go tell the manager
240. Hide in a pile of plushies and then jump out at people who walk by
241. Act like an old lady and scream, "AH! I broke my back! This wouldn't happen at Target!"
242. Pretend to be a life size Barbie. When someone wants to buy you, run away screaming that someone was trying to kidnap you.
243. Take a marker to all the happy faces. Then change the prices. That will start an uproar
244. When a clerk stops you and asks your name read their name of their id card. When they say it's not your name scream, "IDENTITY THEFT!!!"
245. Throw jelly sweets at the cashiers
246. Steal a shopping cart(As in take it out of the store and put it in your car)
247. Ride on the back of the carts. (they hate it when you do that) Run into other carts yelling like a maniac.
248. Follow one person around the store. Poke them ever so often. When the snap and yell at you scream, "STALKER!!"
249. Pretend like you're a person who works there and walk around saying, "Can I help you find anything?"
250. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it
251. Pretend like you're blind and can't find what your looking for. Go up to random people and ask, "Will you help me find some cat food for Fluffy?"
252. Bowl with bottles full of open soda
253. Run around with a bowl of cheerios yelling, "It lowered my cholesterol!"
254. Order a pizza from the cashier
255. Ask to have your pizza shaken, not stirred
256. Start a food fight
257. Go up to a fat woman and say, "Taxi?"
258. Put underwear over your shorts, get a blue shirt, yellow paint, and red paint, paint an s on the shirt, go to the material section, cut a red cape, then get an umbrella, open it, and jump off the tops of shelves.
259. Take the spray paint and paint all the people around you
260. Go up to random people and hug them while putting a 'Kick Me' sign on the back of their shirt
261. Hide in dark places with a golden ring. when people walk by, jump out at them hissing, "We wants it! You cants have it!" Then gently whisper, "it will be alright my precious"
262. Flip off the manager
263. Go to the food section, take all of the boxed items out, and stack them up to make a fort. Glue can help. And creating a 'distraction' elsewhere for the employees to handle while you work does too...
264. Drop a pen and let someone else go and pick it up for you. When they do try to pick it up yell to them, "HEY THATS MY PEN THEIF!"
265. Bring a slip n' slide blast some Music and bring some random people to it and kick their back so they slide accross the slip n' slide and scream "PARTY IN THE HIZ HOUSE!!!!!!!"
266. Throw a dance party
267. Write on the floors
268. Pull all the clothes off the racks into a pile on the floor and hide under it, and when someone tries to pick the clothes up, leap out cackling madly and run down the aisles, still cackling.
269. Go up to someone and say "look over there" Then pull down their pants. And, if you're lucky, their underwear.
270. Pretend to have an asthma attack, and when someone tries to help you, bite them. Or pretend to faint.
271. Get a bag of chips and walk around the store eating them. When an employee tries to stop you or make you pay, tell them that they're your chips! Keep screaming it.
272. Spray a customer with pepper spray and scream, "Help! Help! He's a rapist!"
273. Pretend to be a rabid dog and run around growling at people. Then if someone tries to stop you, bite them.
274. Lie on the floor. Just lie there. It is guaranteed to freak people out. Either pretend to be asleep, or to have passed out.
275. Take toys and put them on the floor and take a cart. Start running over the toys screaming, "Monster Truck Mania!!!"
276. Climb up the shelves/storage units, then refuse to come down.
277. Take red juice Pour it on your face make streaks or stripes then layout on the floor with a flower in your hand when a crowd of people come stand up and walk like a zombie!
278. Grab a bowl, spoon, milk, and cereal. Eat it right there and tell them you'll pay when your done.
279. Stand on the conveyer belt when your checking out and walk like its a treadmill... then ask for a speed increase
280. Wrap yourself in toilet paper rolls and pretend to be a mummy looking for your wife, Cleopatra
281. Follow a stranger around and mimic them. Continue doing this for a long period of time.
282. If you are in Target, say there is a code yellow
283. Get some candy corn form the candy aisle put two on your canine teeth and go around the store biting peoples necks
284. Flirt with the manager's wife
285. Walk calmly to the CDs, when u see one that has Hilary Duff, yell (if you're a fan) OHMIGOD! HILARY'S LATEST! OHMIGOSH, I, LIKE HAVE TO HAVE THIS! (if you're not a fan) Find a hammer, take the CD, gently put it on the floor, then mash it like a madman.
286. Run around spinning and say you're the Tasmanian devil
287. Run around in circles and yell, "I'M THE CIRCLE MAN!"
288. Announce a sock-sliding contest and take off your shoes and start sliding. It's actually really fun...
289. Go up to a employee ask for a application and where it says goals write down 'to take over Wal-Mart' and turn it in
290. Get a water gun and threaten someone with it. A cashier is usually a prime candidate. Then say in a low, dangerous voice (without collapsing into laughter) "Empty out the cash register."
291. Take a soda, shake it up, and then spray it at people.
292. Hide in the clothes so when someone comes to look you yell, "PICK ME!"
293. Request that an employee find you an imaginary product, then keep saying: "I know it's here somewhere, just keep looking!" Eventually the employee will run out of patience, so then you say: "You've been punked!" And run out screaming and laughing. (Maybe you won't get kicked out, but you'll freak an employee out...)
294. Print out a bunch of advertisements for Target, Marshalls, etc... Then calmly go around taping/gluing/stapling them to products, people, and walls. It helps to have a WHOLE lot of them.
295. Move things around. (Put frozen food in with the barbies, etc...)
296. If a fat person has a twinkies in their cart take it out and start eating it and spit it out on them and yell, "That crud is sick!"
297. Point at an old man and yell, "LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!"
298. Put a ski mask on and wear a black cape with black clothes and a fake sword and yell, "Zoro has returned!"
299. Dress up as an old lady and whack people with your purse and when employees come to stop you, pretend to faint
300. Go to Wal-Mart at 2:00 in the morning and do cartwheels around the store screaming, "I'm pregnant!"
301. Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas
302. Break some glass, then accuse a flying monkey
303. Threaten a cashier with a candy bar
304. Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal Mart a Make Over.
305. Buy a bag of candy. Start to walk away, then ask if you can exchange them. Repeat until they get angry.
306. Go to the dairy section and protest against milking cows. Say things like, "What if the cows aren't ok with us milking them? Cows have rights too!" 307. Redecorate the Rollback Smiley Face so he is green with neon pink eyes.
308. Go up to the manager and ask where the nearest K-Mart is.
309. If you see a couple holding hands, run through their hands and scream, "RED ROVER!"
310. Grab a gnome, then hide in a clothes rack and when someone picks out a shirt or whatever jump out and yell "The gnome did it! The gnome did it!" Then throw the gnome and run.
311. Put up free sample signs all over the store and watch people leave with their "free samples."
312. Run around the store screaming, "OMG! HELP! PINTO BEANS ARE TAKING OVER COSTCO! AHHH!"
313. In Walmart, they give out free stickers. Take them and decorate your body with them. 314. Get a bunch of your friends, about 10 or more, and go up to a lady who looks like she's in her 20's. When there are lots of people around, ask, "Mommy? Can we have some ice cream?"
315. Spit in the manager's face
316. Stare at a customer for a long time while saying, "Hello, hello, hello" nonstop until they get really mad
317. Go to customer service and say, "Your fat vallet guy stole my car."
318. Put an "Out of Order" sign on the manager's butt
319. Go up to customers and whisper, "Seven Days..." and if they turn around, pelt them with Skittles
320. Melt chocolate, then scream, "Free face masks!"
321. Wear a pair of bright yellow pants on your head and run around screaming, "They Got Me!!"
322. Slap the manager and scream, "He's alive! He's ALIVE!!!"
323. Put a lot of matches and gasoline in your cart, then smile at people
324. Run around the store five times, and when you are done, scream, "I WIN!" and do a victory dance
325. Let a collie lose in the store, then scream, "Lassie, come home!"
326. Make your friend that's a guy try on girl clothes and then have him run around like a crazy person.
327. Hide in a boys clothes rack, and when a boy with glasses walks by, scream, "You're a wizard, Harry!"
328. Grab lots of G.I. Joe action figures and Water Bombs and yell, "ITS WAR!!!" whenever someone walks by and throw the bombs at them.
329. Put a Dora toy on the floor and when someone tries to pick it up, yell, "Swiper No Swiping!"
330. Buy a fake but expensive looking vase. (ex. a cheap glass pot.) Fill it with some ash and soot. Then take it to an employee, bump into him and drop it so it shatters. Then keep screaming at him that it was your mother and you will sue him for every thing he owns, and tell him he has to pick it up then and there or he will be cursed for 10 years.
331. Put a squirt gun in a stuffed elmo's hand and scream, "Everybody down!! Elmo's got a gun!"
332. Drive around in a kiddie car singing the batman theme song.
333. Run around with underwear on your head screaming, "I'm Blind!!!
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