One day, Oprah Winfrey was walking down the street when Billy Mays decided he wanted to sell her some Lady Gaga. Since Oprah was on a diet, she decided to pass, and instead, asked for some Miley Cyrus.

Unfortunately, Billy Mays had just sold his last case of Miley Cyrus to Mark Walberg and his third nipple. So, as a last result for Dearest Oprah, she went with some Rebecca Black.

As Oprah was strolling along the highway in fishnets and a fishing vest, she spotted a Starbucks and decided to purchase a frappaccino. As she walked inside she noticed Poseidon throwing a tizzy-fit because Michael Jackson had bought the last frappaccino.

Oprah, her spirits lowered, walked slowly back to her cardboard box that smelled of hobo urine and entered a deep sleep. She dreamt of many things, like pineapples, and Sponge bob, and her best friend Miranda Cosgrove, but there was one dream that Oprah remembered most vibrantly; HOW THE WORLD ENDED.

It started out at Justin Bieber’s concert; she was going home with Rosa Parks and Abraham Lincoln when Rosa saw a shooting star.

“My, it’s Friday, FRIDAY, Oprah, you got to get down on Friday! Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend! PARTYING, PARTYING YEAH! PARTYING, PARTYING YES! Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend!”

Oprah decked Rosa and they laughed, until Abraham Lincoln’s beard caught on fire, and that was when Oprah knew that her dream would come true.

While Oprah and Rosa were worrying about Abraham’s beard, Justin Bieber was hit by a meteor shaped like Dr. Phil’s balding head. After this odd occurrence, teens and girls allover the world started committing mass suicide, which caused their parents to take part, too. Since Oprah isn’t necessarily a trend setter, she decided to follow the trend and kill herself by overdosing on KFC. This left the last people alive on the earth, Abraham Lincoln, Rosa Parks, all the people who despise Justin Bieber, and Charlie Sheen.

Then, Rosa Parks developed a serious case of lice that survived Lincoln’s on fire beard, and ended up eating her alive, then Lincoln committed suicide, and then a flying saucer crashed into all the people who hated Justin Bieber and it just so happened to be that the Dinosaurs were having a bachelor party for Barney and got off course and landed millions and billions of years in the future, of course they were starving, so they made a 3 course meal out of Charlie Sheen and fed it to their babies. Oh yeah, and all the technology disintegrated and the whole world started over again, but that was after it ended for a few minutes…

HAPPY FOUR TWENTY-ONE!
THE END. . .